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Ten minutes later, I met Adam and Orlando around the corner from the theater, at the little coffee shop I bought my morning bagels at. The three of us needed to sit down and fight this out, if that’s what it took to settle it. I knew very well that I could end up alone by the end of it, but at least we’d all have some sort of resolution.

Adam arrived first, taking my breath away as he always did, in plain jeans and a grey hooded sweatshirt under his brown leather jacket because it was cool outside for late May. He looked wary and tentative as he ordered his coffee and sat down beside me at the little table I’d taken in the back corner. There were only one or two other people in the shop that day, so we had some privacy.

“Hi,” I said, smiling weakly as he sat down. I didn’t know what else to say.

“Hi,” he said, taking my hand across the table and giving it a gentle squeeze. “I’m surprised you called.”

“You are?”

“In case you haven’t noticed, we’re not exactly getting along right now,” he said, sipping his coffee. He shrugged. “But I’m glad we’re here.”

“You won’t be when Orlando shows up,” I said, figuring it was best to lay all my cards on the table.

“Why is he coming?” He didn’t look shocked, more disappointed.

“We’re going to settle this once and for all, so everyone knows where everyone else is coming from,” I said, fiddling with my own coffee cup. “And after today, whatever is decided here, goes. No more of this going behind each others’ backs. It’s got to stop.”

“So what you’re telling me is that at the end of the day at least one of us is going home alone, right?” he said, his voice strained.

“Unfortunately, that’s the way it has to be,” I said, nodding slowly. “Then we can all move on.”

“I think I know how this is going to go,” he said, refusing to meet my eyes. “And it doesn’t look good for me.”

“Adam, you’ve known from the beginning how this is going to go,” I said gently, cupping his face in my hand and forcing him to look at me. “Can you really tell me you thought we had a future?”

“I wanted to think we did,” he said, turning his face into my hand and placing a light kiss on my palm.

“At one point, a long time ago, maybe we did,” I said, rubbing my finger over his cheek. “But the truth is, I don’t know what I’m feeling right now. Everything is all jumbled up inside my head, and I’m not able to make any sense out of it.”

“Then how do you know it won’t be me you leave here with?”

I sighed. “I don’t for sure,” I admitted. “But it’s a gut feeling that what I have with Orlando is not going to go away, and even if I decide to give whatever this is between you and me a chance, he’ll always be there. I can’t walk away from that.”

“So what exactly is this between you and me?”

“I’m not going to sit here and tell you I don’t love you, because I do,” I said, my eyes roaming over his face. I loved that face so much, and I hated to see the pain in his expression. “But I can’t tell you I’ll be with you when I really don’t know yet.”

“I’m leaving for London soon,” he pointed out, resting his hands on top of mine on the table. “You could always come with me. We can make a fresh start.”

I shook my head. “We both know I can’t do that,” I said. Something inside told me I could never just give up everything and go with him. But I also knew that if it had been Orlando saying that to me, I probably would have done it. The difference was, Orlando would never ask me to.

“Charlie, I love you so much,” Adam said, in a quiet burst of emotion. He was never loud when he got emotional, always stayed very subdued, but his face took on this tortured expression that just ripped at my insides. That expression was firmly in place now.

“I know you do,” I said, taking his hands and mine and bringing them to my lips. I kissed his fingers softly. “And I know you’ve already had enough pain in the past year to last you a lifetime, which is why I hate myself for putting you in this position, but I can’t turn my back on what I’m starting to see is the right choice for me.”

He didn’t say anything for a minute, and the next thing I knew, Orlando was walking through the door of the coffee shop. He ordered himself a tea, and came to the table.

“I’m not staying long,” he said, refusing to sit down when I offered him a seat. “I just wanted to tell you that I’ll make hotel arrangements for tonight, and we’ll go from there tomorrow.”

“No,” I said, grabbing his arm gently. I felt the stiffness in his frame as much as I saw it in his face, but it softened a bit when he looked at me. There was no denying that he loved me.

“No what?”

“Sit down so we can deal with this,” I said, lightly tugging on his arm. “Enough is enough.”

Reluctantly, he pulled out the chair beside me, so I now had one man on either side. I was stuck in the middle, the way I always seemed to be. Both men sat rigid in their seats, refusing to look at each other, or at me. The tension in the air was almost choking me.

“We seem to have a little tug-of-war going between the three of us here, and it needs to stop,” I started, suddenly feeling like I was giving a presentation at school or something. “I need to apologize to both of you for all the shit I’ve put you through lately, because I know I haven’t been the easiest person to deal with. Sometimes I’m too selfish for my own good, and I let it get the better of me.” I took a deep breath, not really sure where I was going with this little speech, but knowing that every word out of my mouth was one hundred percent true, and needing to be said. “I can’t deny that I’ve somewhat enjoyed being the object of so much attention, especially from two men as amazing as you both are. But I let it go to my head, and tried to have my cake and eat it too, and that’s not right.”

I studied them both for a moment, gathering my thoughts before I kept going. I took Adam’s hand in mine, ignoring Orlando’s glare as I did so. “Adam, you know what? You’ve been a dream for me since I was 13 years old. Honestly, you are the most talented performer I’ve ever seen, and one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met. There was a bond between us from the first day I cried in your arms, and I hope that, no matter what happens here today, we’ll never lose that. We promised to always be friends, and I’d hate to see that promise get broken. I love you more than I ever wanted to, more than I ever thought I could with a broken heart, and I’m sorry to have kept you hanging on while I did whatever I wanted. I know you’ll go to London, and you’ll be a huge success, as you always are, and I know I’ll miss you like crazy.”

I saw the tears well in his eyes as he gently kissed my hand. I pulled away slowly and turned to Orlando. I was fighting the tears myself, but I knew, come hell or high water, I had to get through this. There was so much that still needed to be said.

“God, where do I even start with you?” I said, shaking my head as Orlando reached out to gently wipe the single tear that was sliding down my face. “Nothing I can ever say can tell you how much I love you, and how much I need you. You pamper me, you spoil me, and when I’m a selfish bitch, you sit back and let me do what I need to do. You hold me when I need to be held, and you love me when I need to be loved. When I lost you the first time, it almost killed me, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to go through that again. Orlando, you’re the biggest part of my life now, and the best, and I don’t care what harebrained issues I have, I’ll always need you around. You’re also going away soon, to promote what I know will be an amazing movie, and there’ll be millions of girls screaming your name and wanting your attention. But at the end of the day, I know it’s me you’ll call before you go to bed, and me you’ll come home to when it’s all said and done, and the idea of that gives me chills. To not have you in my life in any capacity would utterly and completely break my heart.”

I sighed and pulled away from both of them. We must have been quite the sight, sitting in the coffee shop, tears running down our faces. It felt very surreal, and very strange, but it also felt like I was finally doing what was best for everyone.

“Okay, that being said, it all comes down to what will happen when we leave here today,” I continued, after taking a prolonged sip of my coffee. “The three of us need to come to an understanding that whatever is decided here is to be respected, and there’ll be no more of this fighting shit. Okay?”

“If that’s what you want, then it’s fine with me,” Adam said, a sad smile on his face.

“Me too, love,” Orlando said, mirroring Adam’s smile.

“Okay, good.” I looked down at the table for a minute. “In the end, it all comes down to me, right? I’ve been so torn about this, because, let’s face it, who could ask for better than either one of you?” I chuckled. “I can’t even believe how weird this is. I feel like I’m on some cheesy reality game show, deciding which of you will win the prize, and I realize that’s so self-absorbed of me. I mean, honestly, this kind of thing just doesn’t happen in real life. And that’s what my life in the last year or so has felt like, one big fairytale. It feels like any second I’m going to wake up and realize that this has all been some warped delusion that springs from an overactive imagination.” I shook my head. “But the truth is, that’s not going to happen, is it? So here goes.”

I paused for a moment, organizing my thoughts one final time before I brought this whole soap opera to an end. I asked myself if my decision was the right one, if I was doing what was best, and if this was what I really wanted. When all signs pointed to yes, I looked to my left and smiled.

“Orlando, I need to be with you,” I said softly, relief flooding through me as I said the words. “No more games, no more bullshit, no more any of it. It’s you and me now, and that’s how it will always be.”

He stood up quickly and pulled me to my feet, swinging me up into his arms. He planted kisses all over my face, as our tears mixed. I felt so right being in his arms, I felt like I was home.

But the moment was bittersweet. As soon as he put me down, I glanced over at Adam, and saw him watching us with that hurt expression on his face.

“Are you okay?” I whispered, going to him. I crouched down beside him and gently wiped away his tears. “You have no idea how sorry I am.”

“I know you are, sweetheart,” he said, his voice husky. “But the truth is, I knew this is how it would go. You love me, sure, but you’re in love with him. I’ll be fine, you just do what makes you happy.” He leaned over and brushed a gentle kiss on my lips. There was nothing sexual about that kiss, though, it was light and friendly, and very much the resolution I needed to feel truly happy again. With that, he rose from his seat and picked up his coffee.

“I’m sorry, man,” Orlando said, offering Adam his hand. They shook hands quickly, and Adam smiled gently down at me.

“I’ll see you at the theatre, Charlie,” he said, and disappeared into the street.

I wiped the back of my hand over my face to clear the tears that still lingered, and looked up at Orlando. I felt like a weight had been lifted off me as I took in his tearful grin. Without hesitation, I reached up and kissed him, a full, passionate, lasting kiss, that made the other people in the coffee shop stare. His arms were firm around me and I sank into his body, into his warmth, not wanting to be anywhere other than where I was.

“Charlie, I love you,” Orlando whispered against my mouth as our kiss deepened, and I didn’t hesitate to say it back. But before long, we realized we were in public, and there were more than a few camera phones aimed at us.

“Maybe we should do this somewhere a little more private,” I breathed, burying my face in his neck. He smelled so good.

“Let’s go home,” he said, pulling back from me, his eyes darkening noticeably. Thrills shot through my stomach at the expression on his face, and I only hoped it didn’t carry into the photographs I knew would be plastered all over the internet later that day. I grabbed my coat and my purse, and followed him from the coffee shop.

The few minutes it took to get home felt like a few hours, with the anticipation building up in both of us. I wasn’t worried about what would happen when we got there, in fact, I was looking forward to it. I felt that by letting Adam go, by finally making the decision I’d so needed to make, I’d proven Sean and his stupid sister wrong, that I wasn’t a whore, that I would only be with one man from now on, the man that I loved so much it made my whole being ache. To be pressed against Orlando’s side in the back of the cab on the way back to my apartment, with his arms firmly around me as he kissed me again and again, gave me the closure I needed to put the rest of the crap behind us.

Our bliss at being together was short lived, however, when we got back to the apartment. As I unlocked the door, hesitant to break a very heated kiss to do so properly, and backed into the living room, I heard someone clear their throat. I gasped and turned around, stumbling back into Orlando as I did so.

“Deanna!” I said, my face heating up as I know I turned three different shades of red. There was no denying the frantic lust on my face, and from the way Orlando was holding me, there was no doubt as to what was about to happen. The idea that my fifteen-year-old cousin had almost seen us ripping each others’ clothes off was beyond embarrassing.

“Honey, what are you doing here?” I said, going to where she was sitting on the sofa and hugging her. “Is Aunt Tess here, too?”

“No, it’s just me,” she said, returning my hug. I heard Orlando sigh quietly as he removed his jacket and hung it in the closet. The poor guy was just going to have to wait.

“No one told me you were coming for a visit on your own,” I said, feeling my big sister gene kick in. Something about her being there just didn’t feel right. “What’s going on, Dee?”

She sighed and buried her head in my shoulder. “Aunt Tess doesn’t want me seeing Ethan anymore, and we got into a huge fight about it, so I left. I didn’t know where else to go.”

“How did you get a plane ticket without an adult?” I asked, smoothing her hair back from her face.

“I took the bus,” she said, shrugging. Tears were pooled in her pretty brown eyes, but so far they hadn’t spilled over.

“Do you have any idea how dangerous that is?” I burst out, jumping to my feet. I began to pace in front of her, the way my dad used to do to me when I was Deanna’s age. “I have to call Aunt Tess. She must be worried sick.”

“Well, now that you’re here with the little fugitive, I’m free to leave again, right?” Lisa came out of the kitchen, carrying a mug of hot chocolate. She handed it to Deanna.

“What are you even doing here?” I said, trying to process what was happening. “I left you at Jeremy’s.”

“I figured you’d come back here sooner or later, and I wanted to make sure you were okay,” she said. She smirked at me, then glanced over at Orlando, who’d settled himself on the edge of the chair beside the sofa. “From your entrance, though, I’d say you’re doing just fine.”

I smiled and blushed again. “Yeah, all’s well that ends well, right?” I said. I sighed. “But now I have to deal with this. It’s a good thing you were here, or she wouldn’t have had anywhere to go.”

“I’m not a kid, Charlie,” Deanna said defiantly, while sipping her marshmallow-laden hot chocolate. “I would have just gone to the theatre.”

“The last thing we need is a fifteen-year-old roaming around New York City on her own,” I said, my hands on my hips. I suddenly felt very old. “I’ll deal with you in a minute.” I turned back to Lisa, hugging her. “Thanks,” I whispered.

“Anytime,” she whispered back, so that we didn’t piss off Deanna again. It was rare that we had to be adults, but we knew this was one of the times we did. She grabbed her purse and her coat and headed back to Jeremy’s.

The first thing I did when the door closed behind her was go to the phone.

“Don’t call them, Charlie,” Deanna said, jumping up from her seat. She gave me a pleading look and put her hand on the phone to stop me. “Please, they’ll just make me come back and give me more rules.”

“Honey, obviously rules are what you need,” I said, pulling away from her. “You could have been seriously hurt pulling a stunt like this. Damn it, Deanna, what the hell were you thinking?”

“I just thought it would be easier if I came to live with you for awhile,” she said, the tears finally dripping down her face. “Aunt Tess doesn’t understand what it’s like to be young, and Uncle Paul is even worse.”

“What makes you think I have time to raise you right now?” I said, keeping my tone gentle to counteract the harshness of my words. “Deanna, I work at night, sometimes I’m up until dawn, and I sleep until two or three in the afternoon. We don’t keep groceries in the house because we’re never here. It’s just not practical.” I softened at the look on her face. “And I have to call Aunt Tess so that she doesn’t worry about you. She deserves to know where you are.”

She hesitated, then relented, sitting back down on the sofa. Orlando got up and sat beside her, hugging her briefly as she sipped her hot chocolate again. I dialed Aunt Tess’s number and waited for her to pick up.

“Aunt Tess, it’s Charlie,” I said as soon as she answered. “I have Deanna here with me.”

“Oh thank God,” Aunt Tess said, and I could hear the relief in her voice. “She didn’t go to school this morning, they called me, and I didn’t know where she went. We had a big fight last night over the boy she’s been seeing. I didn’t think she’d leave.” She took a deep breath. “Is she okay, Charlie?”

“She’s fine,” I said, trying to be reassuring. The panic was taking her now, and I was afraid she’d lose it if I didn’t calm her down. “She got it in her head that living with me would be easier, that’s all. I’ll put her on a plane first thing tomorrow.”

“She’s become such a handful lately,” Aunt Tess said, her voice going from panic to weariness. “This boy she’s been seeing is nineteen, and he’s been causing her to do all sorts of things she wouldn’t normally do, like missing curfew and skipping school. I just don’t know what to do with her, Charlie.”

“Do you want me to keep her here for a few days?” I said, knowing that’s what she was getting at. “That’ll give you both time to cool off, give her some time away from this guy, and give me a chance to show her how truly unglamorous my life is.”

“But I don’t want to reward her for running away,” Aunt Tess said, and I could tell she was torn. “Plus, that’ll be such an inconvenience on your life there, honey. You have the Tony’s coming up, and that’s all you need to concentrate on right now.”

“Hold on a sec,” I said, and went into the bedroom, closing the door behind me so Deanna couldn’t hear me. “Okay, right now is the perfect time for her to be here if we want to show her that living with me wouldn’t be fun,” I said, keeping my voice low. “I’m rehearsing the Tony medley during the day, doing the show at night, and sleeping whenever I can in between. I have virtually no time for anything else right now.”

“But Orlando’s there,” Aunt Tess pointed out. “That in itself is glamorous to her.”

“He’s got meetings all week, and he has friends here for the time being,” I said, not mentioning the fact that his ‘friend’ was Elijah Wood. “He won’t be here any more than I am. Like I said, it’s the perfect time.”

She hesitated for a minute. “You’re sure it’s not too much trouble?”

“No, of course it’s not,” I said. “We’ll give you two a few days apart, she’ll come to her senses, and I’ll send her back to you in time for school on Monday.”

“What if it doesn’t work?”

“It will, trust me,” I said. “Girls her age can’t stand to be anything other than the center of attention, and with us all being so busy right now, she’ll be begging to go back to you before the weekend comes.” I smiled. “And I’ll have Orlando speak to her about this Ethan kid. He’ll straighten her out.”

Aunt Tess sighed as she gave in. “Only if you’re sure that’s what you want to do,” she said.

“I think it’s what’s best for everyone right now,” I said, smiling even though she couldn’t see me. “I’ll call you tonight when she’s gone to bed and let you know how she’s doing.”

“Thanks, honey.” We hung up.

I went back into the living room and put the phone on the cradle. Deanna looked up at me expectantly.

“We’ve decided that you can crash here for a few days,” I said calmly. I wasn’t going to give her the impression that I was pleased about having her there, because that wasn’t the case at all. As selfish as it sounds, I wanted to enjoy the little time I had left with Orlando, and not have to worry about my younger cousin in the next room. True, we’d been together before when she was in the house, but she’d had her own room, and we hadn’t been responsible for her. She would be sleeping on the sofa, because we just didn’t have anywhere else to put her, which meant there was only one thin wall between us and her. When I looked at Orlando, I could see he was thinking the same thing I was. I sighed, seeing no hope for it.

“Okay, look, this is how it’s going to be,” I said, pushing my own disappointment aside. After all, I was the one who’d insisted she stay. “While I’m at the theater, I don’t want you to leave the apartment, okay? This city is too dangerous for you to be wandering around by yourself. And during the day, you have an adult with you at all times if you go somewhere. Understand?”

“Charlie, I’m not a little kid,” Deanna said, standing up. “I don’t need a chaperone.”

“Obviously you do,” I said. “And I’m way too busy right now to be worrying about where you are and what you’re doing. Do you have any idea how selfish it was for you to just jump on that bus the way you did? If you’re capable of that, who knows where you’ll wander off to while I’m at work.”

“Charlie, that’s a bit harsh, isn’t it?” Orlando said softly. “I’m sure we can figure out something so that Deanna isn’t trapped in the flat all the time.”

“No, Orlando,” I said, trying to be patient, given that I hadn’t yet filled him in on what I was planning with this little experiment. “I have too much going on right now to rearrange everything so I can baby-sit. And you’ve got friends around, Lisa’s got Jeremy, we’re kind of pressed for time right now.”

“So that’s it?” Deanna said, tears in her eyes. I hated to see her cry, but she needed a reality check. “I’m stuck in the apartment unless I have a baby-sitter with me? How much does that suck?”

“I’m sorry, Dee,” I said, shrugging. “If I had known you were coming, I could have planned better, but since you decided to just jump on a bus, now we’re all stuck. It’s either this, or you can go back to Aunt Tess tomorrow. Those are your choices.”

She looked so crestfallen that I wanted to hug her, but giving in was exactly the opposite of what she needed. “Okay,” she said hesitantly. “Where am I sleeping?”

“The sofa is all we have right now,” I said. I went to the linen closet and got some blankets. The sofa folded out into a bed, but it wasn’t at all comfortable, and I doubted she’d fold it out for more than one night. Orlando helped me fold it out and I made the bed while he grabbed some fresh pillows from my closet in the bedroom.

“All set,” I said as I set the pillows on the bed. Deanna was standing on the other side of the sofa in my now-too-small living room, a grim look on her face. “It’s not exactly luxury, but hey, it’s a bed.”

“Thanks,” she mumbled, setting her duffle bag on the bed.

“Okay, I have to get ready to go to the theatre,” I said. “Get settled, and we’ll be out in a bit.” I grabbed Orlando’s arm and almost dragged him into the bedroom.

“Why were you so harsh with her, love?” he asked when I’d closed the bedroom door.

“I guess she’s giving Aunt Tess all kinds of attitude, saying she wants to come live with me, so we’re going to show her just how unglamorous my life really is,” I said, slipping my arms around his neck. “And besides, it’s really an inconvenience for me to have her here right now, with the Tony’s and the show, and you leaving so soon. I’m not about to make this a walk in the park, you know?” I reached up and cupped his face in my hands. “We can’t exactly, well, you know, with her in the next room, now can we?”

“That puts a wrench in the gears, doesn’t it?” Orlando sighed, pressing his forehead to mine. He kissed my lips softly as his arms tightened around me. I felt the fire burn in my belly and I shifted against him. “Charlie, you have to get changed,” he whispered in my ear, his voice husky and low. I ached to just rip his clothes off and have my way with him right there, but we both knew that wouldn’t be possible with Deanna in the next room.

“Okay, but as soon as she’s asleep tonight, you’re all mine,” I purred, kissing him again, nipping his bottom lip.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” he whispered, his hands sweeping up under my shirt to caress my back. “I love you, darling.”

“I love you, too.” I pulled away and changed to go to the theatre.

I was just zipping up my jeans when there was a knock on the door. Orlando opened it and Deanna came in, looking kind of sheepish.

“Charlie, can I use the phone?” she said, refusing to meet my eyes. I knew immediately who she would call.

“For what?” I said, turning my back to her so I could pull my hair up in a ponytail.

“I need to call a friend,” she said, and I could hear the excitement in her voice. “Please?”

“Since you don’t know anyone in the city, I’m assuming it’s a long-distance call,” I said, brushing my hair out before I began smoothing it back. “Am I right?”

“Yes.”

“In which case, it’s going to cost me money, right?” That wasn’t true, since the Wicked producers paid my bills, but she didn’t need to know that. This was about teaching her responsibility.

“Yes.”

“Are you going to pay me for the call?”

“I don’t have a lot of money left after my bus ticket,” she said, her voice barely audible.

“I don’t want you to get into the habit of being on the phone all the time while I’m gone,” I said, securing my ponytail tightly. “So why don’t you wait until tomorrow when I’m here to make your call, okay?”

“Okay,” she agreed, though she wasn’t too happy about it. She went back into the living room and I heard the bed creak as she flopped down on it.

“Who would she need to call?” Orlando asked, wrapping his arms around me from behind and trailing kisses up my neck.

“Her boyfriend,” I said, turning in his arms. “He’s the reason she’s been having problems with Aunt Tess, so the last thing we need to do is encourage her to call him from here.”

“You know what? I think this is the first time I’ve seen you be really grown up,” Orlando teased, kissing the tip of my nose.

I laughed. “Oh really?” I said, sliding my hands into his hair. “And what do you think?”

“It’s completely sexy,” he almost growled, before attacking my neck with nipping kisses as I squealed and tried to get away. As I arched against him, squirming under his assault, desire rushed through me and I had to stop for a minute to catch my breath. I stepped back so he wasn’t touching me anymore.

“Later,” I said, fighting to catch my breath. “Later.” I turned and hurried from the room while I still had the strength to resist him.