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The Sunday show is always a matinee, starting at two, so Lisa and I had to be at work by noon. I was up at the crack of dawn, and watched the sun rise over the city, a beautiful site that often goes unappreciated. The weight of pain was heavy on me, and I didn’t have much to say while Lisa made breakfast and forced me to eat some of it. Orlando didn’t call before we left for the theatre, and it killed me inside.

“Lisa, what did you do to my star?” Nick asked, coming over to me as Lisa sat me at my dressing table. “She’s a wreck!”

“Not now, Nick,” Lisa said, her arm around my shoulders. Janine came over and started pulling my hair into the hairnet so she could do my make-up and put my wig on. I stared at myself in the mirror, at the red, blotchy skin, the puffy eyes, the swollen nose. I was suddenly very glad the green paint would cover all of it, otherwise I would have been a mess on stage.

“Is there a Charlie Madison here?” An usher came through the backstage door, a piece of paper in his hand.

“I’m Charlie,” I said, and he handed me the paper. I recognized Orlando’s handwriting, and my heart sank. Lisa took my hand as I unfolded the paper.

“Charlie,” it read, “I’m catching an earlier flight today, so I won’t be here when you’re done the show. Tell Deanna I’m sorry I missed her birthday. Orlando.”

“Ouch,” Lisa said as she read the note. “I guess he’s really mad.”

“I can’t think about that now,” I said quickly, shoving the note into one of the dressing table drawers. “I’ve got a show to do, and I won’t do another performance like last night’s.” I steeled myself against all the pain that was washing through me, and tried to get my head straight. I had to focus.

The show went without a hitch, Sean behaved himself, and I managed to give the performance I wanted. But when I got the make-up off and changed back into my clothes, I broke down again. Dad, Aunt Tess, and Deanna were waiting for me, so we could have Deanna’s birthday dinner, but I really didn’t feel like it. Deanna had invited Lisa, so we caught a cab together and went to the hotel.

Dad had arranged to have the dinner in his suite, rather than in the dining room. When Aunt Tess opened the door for us, she immediately drew me into a hug. “I’m so sorry, honey,” she whispered.

“What?” I didn’t know what she was talking about, until Dad handed me a tabloid. Right there, on the front cover, was a picture of Orlando and me in the theatre lobby the night before. It was clear we were fighting from the look on his face and from the tears streaming down mine. The headline glared out underneath, “Trouble ‘Blooms’ in Paradise.”

“Oh my God,” I said, as Aunt Tess led me into the room, and sat me down on sofa. “I don’t believe this.”

I opened the paper to the article, and read it, every nasty word of it. There was a picture of us from the opening night reception, with the caption, “Happy together only the day before.”

“This is crap,” I said angrily. “Listen: ‘Actor Orlando Bloom and rumored girlfriend, Charlotte Madison, were on the outs yesterday after Madison’s lackluster performance in Stephen Schwartz’s Wicked at the Gershwin Theatre. Sources indicate Madison was caught kissing her co-star, Sean Bryant, after the show, and Bloom discovered the two. ‘Charlie is always all over Sean’ our source says. ‘We didn’t even know she was with Orlando.’ Does this mean that Bloom’s last minute flight from the set of Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest, slated for a July release, to New York was in vain? Though a relationship between the two has not been confirmed by either side, ‘they’re over, judging from the way he yelled at her,’ our source tells us. Could this mean Bloom will return to the waiting arms of former girlfriend, Kate Bosworth? Or will he play the field for awhile, to get over Madison’s alleged betrayal? Bloom’s camp is refusing to comment.’ This is unbelievable!”

I threw the paper on the floor and doubled over, my head in my hands. “No wonder he left early.”

“I ran into him in the elevator this morning,” Aunt Tess said, sitting beside me. “He apologized about missing Deanna’s birthday, and said that you shouldn’t worry about the tabloids.”

“That’s all?”

She hesitated. “He said he’d call when he’s cooled off, but honey, he’s very angry right now.”

“I don’t blame him.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Charlotte,” Dad said. “He’s not giving you the chance to explain, and if he did, he’d see it was all a misunderstanding, right?”

I nodded, feeling sick to my stomach. “I can’t imagine how hard it would be if I was in his position right now, though,” I said softly. “I don’t even like seeing him kiss other women in his movies, I don’t know how I’d feel if I’d walked in on him with someone else.” I shook myself and tried to smile. “I don’t want this to ruin Deanna’s birthday, okay? It’s not fair to her. I’ll deal with all of this later, when I’ve had a chance to think about it.”

We spent the afternoon in Dad’s suite, eating dinner and birthday cake, singing “Happy Birthday”, watching Deanna opening her presents, and watching Grease, Deanna’s favourite movie. They had to catch their flight home that evening, so Deanna could be back at school the following morning. As the bellhop took their luggage downstairs to the cab that was waiting to take them to the airport, Dad took me aside.

“Are you going to be all right tonight?” he asked, hugging me tightly. “I can stay a few more days if you need me.”

I smiled up at him. “No, I think I’ll be fine,” I said. “Lisa’s here, and I’m pretty sure it will blow over soon, either way it goes.”

“You mean if you break up?”

“Or if we don’t, I’m sure we’ll have that figured out soon enough.”

“If you need me, I’m only a phone call away, okay?” Dad said, then hugged me again and went to the elevator.

Lisa and I caught our own cab back home, and I wanted nothing more than to curl up in bed and cry. She understood, and left me to myself, which I was thankful for. The tabloids had brought up Kate, Orlando’s ex, as though she was always right there in the wings, waiting for him to be free again. Though I knew what crap those papers usually wrote, it still bothered me a bit to read it. We’d had a fight, albeit a big one, but that didn’t mean we weren’t together anymore, did it? I sat up quickly and reached for the phone on the nightstand beside my bed. I had to know what was going on, I had to talk to Orlando.

I tried his cell phone first, figuring he’d probably landed hours ago. It rang several times, then switched to the machine. I took a deep breath as I waited for the beep. When it came, I said, “Orlando, it’s Charlie. I, uh, I just wanted to make sure you’d landed okay, so call me when you can. Bye.” I’d wanted to tell him I loved him, but I couldn’t bring myself to say the words, not to a machine. I hung up the phone and laid back in bed, silently hoping he’d call.

I must have drifted off to sleep, because the phone ringing jarred me awake. I looked over at the clock, and it was almost midnight. I rolled over and picked up the phone, hoping it hadn’t woken Lisa.

“Hello?” I said, trying to wake myself up. I was bone tired, and it took every effort to hold the phone to my ear.

“Charlie?” It was Dad. “I didn’t mean to wake you, honey, I just wanted to let you know we were home safe and sound.”

I smiled into the darkness. “I’m glad to hear it,” I said, then yawned. “I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”

“Sure, sweetheart,” he said. “Sleep tight.”

I turned the phone off and put the hand set on my nightstand again. A gnawing hunger pang ripped through my belly, so I got up and went to the kitchen for food.

Lisa was sitting at the kitchen table with Sean, and they were talking in hushed tones. They stopped as soon as I walked in.

“What are you doing here?” I said, somewhat rudely, I’ll admit.

“I wanted to make sure you were all right,” Sean said as I rummaged in the fridge for some yogurt. “Lisa told me Orlando hasn’t called or anything.”

“Do you blame him?” I snapped, pulling a spoon out of the silverware drawer.

“That wasn’t a nice article in the tabloid Lisa showed me,” he said sadly, shaking his head. “I’m sorry, Charlie, I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

“Yes, Sean, you did,” I said, sitting at the table beside Lisa, who had yet to say anything. She watched the two of us with interest. “This is exactly what you wanted, isn’t it? Me to be free so I can be with you?”

“No, that’s not it,” he said.

“Funny, I don’t believe you,” I said as I opened my yogurt. “Why did you have to
kiss me? Why couldn’t you leave well enough alone?”

“I couldn’t help it,” he said, staring at his fingers as though they were the most interesting thing in the world. “I didn’t mean for it to happen like that, we were talking, and the next thing I knew, I was kissing you and you were trying to get
away.”

“Why didn’t you let me go when I started to struggle?”

“I couldn’t, not yet,” he said, finally meeting my eyes. “I thought if I held you there long enough, you’d kiss me back, the way you did on stage.”

“On stage I’m playing a character who loves you,” I said angrily. “Of course I’m going to kiss you back there. But in reality, Sean, you stepped way over the line, and now my relationship is up in the air because of it. If you cared about me at all, you’d want me to be happy, and you wouldn’t have pulled such a stupid stunt.”

He sighed. “I know, and it was selfish of me,” he said, his voice barely audible. “I’m sorry, Charlie, I don’t know what else to say.”

“It’s too late for apologies now,” I said, taking a spoonful of yogurt. I put it in my mouth.

“And he really hasn’t called?”

“No, I got a note at the theatre this afternoon, saying he’d booked an earlier flight, and that was it.” I paused for another spoonful of yogurt. “He told my aunt he’d call me when he cools off. I guess we’ll see when that is.”

“I’m sure he’ll get over this,” Lisa said, rubbing her hand on my shoulder. “He’s not an asshole, he’ll come around.”

“I hope so,” I sighed, toying with my spoon. “Oh God, I really hope so.”

***

I was in a sort of fog for the next few days, and it seemed that all I did was work, come home, and sleep. I ached deep inside, more so for every day he didn’t call. Another article had come out about us, this time with a very neutral statement from Orlando’s publicist, stating, “The pictures published over the weekend of Orlando and Charlotte were taken out of context, and all sources on this matter are inaccurate.” I took it from that that we were still together, but then, not having talked to him for so long, I couldn’t be sure. Those horrible pictures of me crying and him shoving me away in the theatre lobby were everywhere, and it was all I could do to go outside my door each night to perform.

Finally, a week after he’d left, Orlando called. It was late, I’d just come home from the Saturday show, and though my energy was fairly high from the adrenaline of performing, my heart immediately sank at the sound of his voice.

“Sorry to ring so late,” he said, his tone formal, like we were talking about business instead of us. “I figured you’d just be getting home.”

“No, it’s okay,” I said softly, fighting the urge to cry, I was so relieved. “How’ve you been?”

“Busy,” he said. I could hear the exhaustion in his voice, and I ached to hold him. “How about you?”

“Uh, same,” I said, hating how formal, how controlled this whole conversation was starting to be. I needed to break the coldness, to bring some emotion into it, or else I knew it wouldn’t go well. “I miss you,” I said softly.

He didn’t say anything for a minute or two, as the knot in my stomach grew ever bigger. Then he sighed. “I miss you, too,” he said, his voice softening, the formality gone. “Bloody hell, Charlie.”

“What? Orlando, talk to me, please?”

“I can’t get the image of you with him out of my head.” I knew he was upset, because he was starting to sound like a badly written soap opera. I didn’t say anything, and he continued. “Every time I see it, I get angry again, and I have trouble thinking about anything else. And those damned tabloids don’t help.”

“Oh, I know,” I said, nodding, even though he couldn’t see me. “Orlando, you have to know I didn’t expect him to kiss me, and I didn’t kiss him back.”

“You did during the show.” Damn. I’d forgotten about that, about him seeing that very personal kiss. “The tosser slipped you the tongue onstage, and you didn’t seem to mind.” The hurt was radiating from him, I could practically feel it.

“You don’t understand,” I said, as a single tear slid down my cheek. “You know how much that song affected me where you were concerned, before I ever started Wicked. I use that to make my performance effective, and when I’m kissing him, and singing to him, I’m thinking about you.” It sounded so lame as I said it, so fake, but it was true and I couldn’t say it any better. The critics had raved about the chemistry between Sean and me, which of course had fueled the recent onslaught of rumors, but it wasn’t Sean I was singing to, or Sean I was in love with. It was Orlando.

“Do you expect me to believe that?”

“Whether you do or not, it’s the truth,” I almost pleaded. The tears came faster, dropping off my face onto my sweatshirt. “I don’t know how to make it any clearer to you that though Sean kissed me, it meant absolutely nothing. If I wanted to be with him, I would be, instead of putting up with this crap from you.” The words came out before I could stop them, and for the first time, I realized I was angry with him. I’d explained and apologized more than once, he knew exactly what happened, and yet he was still holding it against me. He may not have been an asshole, as Lisa said, but he was definitely acting like one.

“You snog another guy, and you think I’m giving you crap to put up with?” His temper was becoming apparent in his voice.

“Yes, that’s exactly what I think,” I said, getting up off the bed and pacing the floor. “How many times do I have to apologize? And for how long are you going to make me feel bad about this? If you’re not going to accept my apology and move on, then I don’t know what to tell you. I won’t have even another day like the week I’ve just had, I can’t do it. So if all you called for was to give me more shit about something I had no control over, I’m done talking.” I was tempted to just turn off the phone, but I didn’t.

“How am I supposed to get that image out of my head?” There was no anger now, only raw pain.

“That’s your problem, isn’t it?” I snapped. “If you’d stop dwelling on it, it would go away. Why can’t you just focus on something more positive? Lord knows we’ve had enough good times that this one stupid incident shouldn’t be all you can think about. I gave you more credit than that.”

“What do you want me to say?”

“That you’ll get over yourself and give us the chance to move on,” I said, sighing. “I don’t want to fight with you like this anymore. I want to know where we stand. The tabloids have been full of nasty stories about us, and having not heard from you in almost a week, I’m really wondering what’s true.”

“I’m not back with Kate,” he said quickly. “So don’t even think that. Those pictures are horrible, Charlie, I know, and I’m sorry for that. Have your people release a statement, like mine did, and hopefully it will all blow over.”

“Orlando, I don’t have ‘people’,” I reminded him. “I’ll talk to the Wicked producers and see if their publicity people can do something for me. But I think it would be better if we went out on this together.”

“How so?”

“We need to put out a statement that comes from both of us,” I said, sitting on the edge of my bed. “That way there won’t be any speculation or rumors, only the facts that we present ourselves.” I paused. “But, Orlando, I need to know where we stand first.”

“I’ve been a jerk, haven’t I?” He sounded so sad, my anger quickly dissipated.

“A little bit, yes,” I admitted, laying back on the bed with my knees up. “I guess I understand it, but why did it take so long for you to call? Why is this so hard for you to get over?”

“I’ve been cheated on before, love,” he said, and his one simple endearment made me smile. “I never thought it was something I’d be dealing with where you’re concerned. It seemed so much bigger than it actually was, and the longer I wallowed in it, the worse it became.”

“But you’re ready to accept what I’ve told you?” I held my breath, waiting for his answer.

“Yes, darling, I think I am,” he said softly, his words like a warm caress. “I’m sorry, Charlie.”

“Me, too,” I said, my heart feeling a hundred times lighter. “So how are we going to do this thing with the press?”

“I’ll call my publicity people and see what they suggest,” he said. “It may require an emergency flight to New York again, but I’m sure we can work something out.”

“And the stories that are already circulating?”

“They’ll blow over,” he said. “People will read them and toss them in the bin, like the trash they are.”

“Wait, does this mean we’re going to make an ‘official’ announcement about us?”

“Is that a problem?”

“Oh no, of course not,” I said, unable to keep the smile from my face. “It’s just kind of nice to be able to talk about us after months of not saying anything, you know?”

“I like to keep my private life to myself, love,” he said. “We’ll confirm we’re together, but that’s as much as we’ll say, all right? I don’t want to give them reason to start hounding us.”

“That makes sense,” I agreed. “Orlando, I really do love you.”

“I know you do, darling,” he said, and I could almost hear the grin on his face. “And I love you.”

“I know.” And the best part was, I did.