Home

I was freezing when I woke up later that afternoon. I rolled over to cuddle Orlando for warmth, but he wasn’t there. Cursing under my breath, I threw back the covers and got to my feet. I needed another blanket, and not knowing where Orlando was, I had to get it myself. I smiled to myself, thinking that I was finally getting to do something on my own, without him hovering over my shoulder.

My extra blankets were in the closet on the other side of my bathroom, so I padded my way into the hall toward it. I opened the heavy closet door and grunted as the effort sent a ripping pain through my abdomen. My feeling of semi-normalcy disappeared in a cloud of dust. I sighed as I reached up to grab the blanket off the top shelf.

“Damn it,” I said out loud as I realized I couldn’t reach the blanket. I stood up on my tiptoes, and stretched my arm as far above my head as I could, ignoring the pain that was now pulsing and throbbing through me. My legs began to shake as my fingertips grazed the edge of the blanket, and just as I began to pull, everything on the blanket came tumbling down on top of me.

I cried out as my legs gave out and I collapsed on the floor. When the avalanche had ended, I found myself laying underneath three blankets, the iron, a squirt bottle for the iron, and a bunch of other household items that I’d honestly forgotten about. The worst part was, I didn’t have the strength to get myself back up. I didn’t see any hope for it. I pulled myself up as best I could, and called, “Orlando? Lisa?” I waited, but nothing happened. The only thing I could do was arrange myself as comfortably as possible, and hope one of them came along soon.

I don’t know how long I laid there, but finally I heard the front door open. “Hello?” I called, trying not to cry. I’d been fighting the urge since I fell, and it was getting harder the longer I waited.

“Charlie?” Orlando’s voice came from the living room. “I brought food.” I heard his footsteps as he came toward the hallway. “Bloody hell,” he cursed when he saw me. “What the hell happened?” He came down on his knees beside me.

“I needed a blanket,” I said, the tears flowing freely down my face now, I was so relieved he was there. So much for my independent streak. “The stuff just came down, and I can’t get it off me.”

“Okay, hang on,” he said, and I felt him start to pick things up and put them aside. When I was free from the rubble, he squatted down beside me again. “This is going to hurt, love,” he said, then kissed my cheek. “Just bear with me, all right?”

“Please, just get me up,” I whimpered.

“Put your arms around my neck,” he said, and I felt his hands slide under my knees and shoulders. I gripped him as tightly as I could and tried not to scream as he lifted me off the floor. I couldn’t help it, and a high-pitched moan escaped my lips, my eyes squeezed tight, the tears leaking from beneath them.

“I know, love, I know,” Orlando soothed, cuddling me closer as he carried me to the bedroom and laid me gently on the bed. I felt my body relax as best it could when I was finally flat out on my back, my arms at my sides, Orlando standing above me. I felt like a fool for crying the way I was, but I couldn’t help it. My body was wracked with pain, and I could barely breathe.

Orlando sat down beside me and began gently rubbing my legs, the way the doctor had shown him. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here,” he whispered as he worked on a knot in my calf. “I didn’t think you’d wake up while I was gone, or I’d have left a note, love.” I could see tears gleaming in his eyes.

“It’s not your fault I fell,” I said, reaching up to stroke his cheek.

“Yes, Charlie, it is,” he said, pulling away from me. I could see and feel the tension in his body as he sat there. “It seems like I’m never here when you need me.”

“Don’t say that,” I said, fighting to sit up. I winced as I got into a sitting position. “Orlando, you’re here when I need you. This was a fluke.”

“No,” he said, turning away from me. “If I had been there when Sean came after you, you wouldn’t be in the shape you’re in now.”

I was stunned. He looked so sad, so ashamed, I didn’t know what to say. “I didn’t know you felt like that,” I said after a pause. I took his hand in mine. “Orlando, darling, don’t feel that way, okay? Nothing that happened was your fault.”

“You don’t understand,” he said, shaking his head gently and pulling his hand from me. “Kate came to the party that night, and I was with her when I should have been with you.”

“Don’t think about it like that,” I said, relieved that he’d finally told me about Kate. “If it hadn’t been that night, it would have been another. He was determined, and it wouldn’t have mattered where I was, he would have gotten to me. You can’t protect me all the time.”

“But I could have then,” he insisted, his eyes burning into mine. “I was with someone else when I should have been with you. When Lisa told me you’d been attacked, I couldn’t get to you fast enough. I can’t get past the fact that I wasn’t there, that I didn’t protect you.”

“It’s not your job to protect me,” I said softly, shifting so that I was touching him. “I’ve never once thought it was your fault, and I never will. I knew you were with Kate that night, I saw you push her away when she tried to kiss you. I wanted to give you some space, some time, especially after I’d been so angry with you for no real reason. No one ever thought Sean would be dangerous like that, or else I wouldn’t have gone alone. It was my choice to be there, and nothing you did contributed in any way to what happened to me.”

“You saw me with Kate?” I nodded, not wanting to lie to him. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I wanted to see how you handled it,” I said. “I know it was stupid, and petty, and I was being the jealous girlfriend and all that, but I had to know. I wanted to give you the space to do what you felt you needed to do, but at the same time, I needed to know how it turned out. When I got back to the party after you’d walked out on her, I rang in the New Year with Lisa and my friends, then went to get my stuff so I could go home. I couldn’t find you after you walked out of the auditorium, so I figured I’d run into you back here, whenever you came home.”

“After I walked away from Kate, I snuck out the back door, and just went for a walk,” he said, his arms slipping around me. “I wasn’t prepared for her, and I had no idea she’d be there. You were angry with me, and I wasn’t sure why, and I’ll admit, I was tempted to go with her, but I couldn’t. When Lisa came running out of the auditorium as I was coming back into the lobby, it felt like I’d been punched in the stomach. She said you’d been hurt, and love, I wanted to cry right there. It almost made me physically ill to think that something had happened to you.”

I cuddled against him, ignoring the bruises that were screaming at me. “I have never been so relieved in my life as when I saw you that night. That’s how you make me feel, Orlando, safe and protected. I knew that as soon as you were there, everything would be okay.” I moved so that I was straddling his lap, even though it hurt, and I kissed his lips softly. “Don’t ever think that you’ve let me down, that you’ve done something wrong. I couldn’t have gotten through the last few days without you.” I kissed him again.

He sighed as I laid my head on his shoulder, pressing myself against his chest. “I just want you to be okay, love,” he whispered, his hands sweeping over my back. “I can’t help thinking I should have been there.”

I didn’t say anything, knowing that no words could change his mind. Instead, I brushed my lips over his and tangled my hands in his hair. I felt him hesitate, then he kissed me back, pulling me tighter to him, almost grinding against me. My body leapt in response, having been deprived of him for so long. His hand came up to caress the back of my neck, while his other hand held my back firmly. He shifted so that he was on his knees, with my legs wrapped around his waist, and he laid me gently back on the bed, then came over me. His eyes burned as he looked down at me, and he tackled my lips again. I forgot all of the pain, all of the sadness, everything but him. I moaned softly, and needless to say, I almost screamed when he pulled back.

“Oh, God, Charlie, I’m sorry,” he said, balancing himself on his hands so his weight was no longer on me. He went to get up, but I pulled him back down.

“Don’t you dare stop now,” I said, only inches from his face.

“But I was hurting you,” he protested, his voice thick and hoarse.

“No, you weren’t.”

“You groaned.”

“No, I didn’t, silly,” I said, kissing his lips quickly. “It’s been so long, you’ve forgotten what I sound like when I’m enjoying myself. Orlando, that was a very pleased moan, not a groan.” I smiled up at him as I locked my legs around him.

“But, darling, we shouldn’t.” He looked so concerned.

“Yes, we should,” I insisted, pressing myself up against him. I felt his body respond to me, and I knew I had almost won.

He rolled onto his side, taking me with him, and we laid there for a few seconds, staring at each other. My heart was throbbing in my chest, and I was almost dizzy with need. “Orlando, make love to me,” I whispered, my hand caressing his face. “I promise we can be careful.”

He hesitated, and I rubbed myself against him, hard, knowing he would react. He needed me just as much as I needed him, and I wasn’t about to let him forget that. There was a different pain in me now, a pain only he could sooth, and I was hell bent I would have him, right then and there.

“Charlie, I don’t know,” he said, but his hands were moving over my body already, to the buttons on my nightgown. I reached up and tugged open his shirt, popping a few buttons in my haste. I slid my hands over his beautiful chest and stomach, and I felt his breathing catch. I slipped one hand over the front of his pants, and I could almost feel the instant he gave in to me. He devoured my mouth with his own, and I knew I had won.

Afterwards, I laid in Orlando’s arms, my fingers tracing patterns on his chest. “Now was that so bad?” I teased, reaching up to nip his chin.

He chuckled and kissed the top of my head. “Are you sure you’re not in pain?” he said, his smile turning to a look of concern. “Did we push you too far?”

“Relax,” I said, propping up on my elbow, then wincing when my ribs throbbed. I laid back down again. “I feel better now than I have in days. Don’t worry so much.” I sighed. “I’m hungry. We need food.” I pulled the blanket around me and went to get up.

As soon as my feet hit the floor and I went to put my weight on them, a shooting pain ripped through my abdomen. It was a different pain than my sore ribs had been causing, sharper, stronger. I gasped and doubled over, falling to my knees as I gripped my stomach.

Orlando was out of bed in a flash, crouching beside me. “Charlie, tell me what’s happening,” he said, his hand on my back.

“My stomach,” I said through gritted teeth as the pain tore through me. “I don’t think it’s my ribs. Orlando, I don’t know what’s wrong.” I pitched forward as a particularly strong pain shot through me. Tears began to fill my eyes and spill over my cheeks.

“I’ll call an ambulance, love, just hold tight,” he said, jumping up and getting the phone off the nightstand. When he was done, he bent down and lifted me in his arms, causing me to cry out. It felt like a million Charlie horses were in spasm in my stomach, and no matter what I did, they just kept getting tighter.

“Orlando, make it stop,” I pleaded against his neck as he held me. He set me gently on the bed and pulled on his clothes.

“Okay, love, we need to get you dressed to go to the hospital,” he said, bringing me some clothes. “I know it hurts, but you’ve got to focus on me right now. Can you do that for me, darling?”

I looked up at him as he began sliding my underwear up my legs. “I – I think so,” I said softly, trying to concentrate on his face. “But that doesn’t match.” I looked at the clothes he had in his arms, an orange t-shirt with red horizontal stripes on it, and a pink skirt with turquoise polka dots that wasn’t even mine, but one Lisa had left in my room a few days earlier. “I can’t go out in that, I’m sorry.”

He laughed as he grabbed a pair of jeans from my drawer. “I don’t think they’ll be judging your fashion sense at the hospital, love,” he said, slipping my jeans on, but leaving the button and zipper open. I sat up and he pulled the t-shirt gently over my head. The pain in my stomach was easing somewhat, so I tried to stand up. With Orlando’s help to support my weight, I was able to walk to the living room.

Lisa was sitting on the couch in front of the new 52” TV Orlando had bought for us, eating chips and watching Save The Last Dance, one of her favourite movies. She smiled when she saw us, then her eyes widened.

“Oh my God, what happened?” she said, jumping up, spilling her chips on the floor in the process. I flinched, both at the pain in my stomach and the mess on the carpet.

“She’s having stomach pains,” Orlando said, helping me to sit down on the chair beside the couch. “The ambulance is coming.”

“Lisa, you have to clean that up,” I said, unable to look away from the disaster on the floor. “If you leave it, those crumbs will be impossible to get up.”

“I think you have more important things to worry about right now,” she said, her hands on her hips. “I’ll take care of it, don’t worry.”

The ambulance arrived shortly after, and before I knew it, I was at the hospital again, on a bed, with Dr. Cuthbert doing an examination.

“Well, there doesn’t appear to be any internal damage,” he said when the examination was finished. He took off the rubber gloves and threw them away, then covered my lower half with the bed sheet. “I was afraid you’d miscarried or something when you came in, but there doesn’t appear to be any evidence of that.”

“But if I was pregnant, wouldn’t you have known the other day when you looked me over?” I said softly. The idea hadn’t even crossed my mind.

“I didn’t do an internal exam the other day,” he said, sitting beside my bed and writing on his clipboard. “But you’re sexually active, so it was a possibility.”

“So what’s wrong with me?”

“Muscle spasms,” he said simply, looking up at me. “Judging from your examination, I’m guessing you’ve engaged in intercourse fairly recently, and it sent your body into spasms. I’m surprised they didn’t hit your back as well, because that’s usually where they start.” A stern look came over his face. “Charlie, I told you not to do anything to overexert your body for two weeks. This is exactly why.”

I felt my face heat up as he spoke. “I know,” I said, looking down at my hands, too embarrassed to look at him. “It won’t happen again.”

“I’ll give you a muscle relaxant to stop the spasms,” he said, standing up. “But please, for your own good, take it easy. I don’t want to see you in here again.”

“I will,” I said, finally looking up at him. “I didn’t think it would be a big deal, if we were careful.”

“The human body goes through an enormous amount of stress during intercourse,” he said, his tone and his face softening. “No matter how careful you are, your body still responds the same way, with the same intensity. It doesn’t have to be rough to hurt you.” He looked down at his clipboard again. “I want to see you in here next week so I can check on your bruises. You can go home as soon as the nurse comes back with your pills.”

“Thank you,” I said, and he left the room. A few minutes later, Orlando came in, a sheepish look on his face. “I’m guessing you talked to the doctor,” I said, grinning.

“Oh yes, he read me the riot act,” he said, sitting on the edge of the bed. His face was serious and his body was tense. “Charlie, I told you we shouldn’t have done that,” he said.

“I didn’t think it would be a problem,” I said, not wanting him to blame himself for the pain I was feeling. “Besides, I was the one who wanted to, you warned me.”

“But I still went through with it,” he said, caressing my face. “I’m sorry, darling. It won’t happen again.”

“The doctor thought a miscarriage was an option,” I said, searching his eyes for his response.

“I thought about that, too,” he said, concern on his face. “But thank God it wasn’t.”

“Did you ever think I could be pregnant?”

“I’ve worried about it a few times when we’ve been careless,” he said, lightly stroking the back of my hand with his thumb. “But you’re not, so we don’t need to think about it now.”

“No, you’re right,” I said, sighing. “Orlando, that was scary.” Tears filled my eyes for the billionth time that day. “I didn’t know what was happening.”

“I didn’t either, love,” he said, leaning forward so his forehead was against mine. “The important thing is that you’re okay, it was something the doctor can fix, and we can take you home and put you safely to bed.”

“Maybe I’ll take it easy for a few more days,” I said, pulling back to stand up and get dressed. “Just to be on the safe side.”

“That’s a very wise decision,” he said, helping me into my jeans. “Very wise indeed.”