Who Knew? - Part Twenty-Eight

The rest of the week flew by, and before I knew it, Friday had come, and we were scrambling through a final dress rehearsal. Cooper had turned into a complete and utter dictator, and by the time we’d gotten through half the show, we were all ready to throttle him. After he’d made me do the same song four times, with outlandish notes for each time, I finally got angry.

“For fuck sakes, Cooper,” I cried as the music for “As Long As You’re Mine” ended. He’d started yelling before we were even done singing. I went to the edge of the stage and crouched down in front of him. “You’ve given me the same damn notes four times, all of which are ridiculous, and I’m getting tired of it. Knock it off, and let’s move on to something else.”

“That song isn’t right yet, Charlie,” he said, shaking his head as he consulted his clipboard. “We need to make it sharper, more expressive.”

“You know what?” I said, standing up, getting really angry. “I perform that song every night in front of over a thousand people, and no one has ever had a problem with it. Did you ever think that maybe it’s you who’s the problem, and not me?”

“It’s not me,” he said simply, shrugging. “You’re just not giving me what I want.”

“Fine,” I said, hopping down off the stage. “Then find someone else to headline the show, okay? I’m doing this as a favor to you, and you’ve been nothing but an asshole today. We perform tomorrow night, and we’re all more than a bit sick of your shit. Either grow up and start respecting your performers, or turn this into a one-man show where you’re the only one on the stage. I don’t give a damn.” I stormed off toward the lobby of the building, so mad I could have slapped him.

As I was sitting in the lobby, trying to catch my breath, my cell phone rang. I pulled it out and answered, “What?”

“Charlie?” It was Adam. “What’s wrong, honey?”

I sighed and rubbed the bridge of my nose between my fingers. “I’m sorry, Adam, I didn’t mean to snap at you. Cooper’s being an ass and I’m just taking a breather before I go in there and wring his stupid neck.”

“Tech rehearsal jitters, huh?” he said, sounding more amused than I would have liked. “That’s normal.”

“Maybe so, but even Nick wasn’t this big a Nazi before we opened Wicked,” I pointed out. “Anyway, enough about that. What’s up?”

“I’m thinking of flying in tomorrow to see the show.”

I froze. “You are?” I said, forgetting that he hadn’t yet been informed of my decision to be with Orlando. Come to think of it, no one but Cooper knew that yet. “But what about Nick and the show? You can’t just take off on a Saturday night.”

“Nick owes me one for not taking a month to learn the material,” he said. “Cybele took the boys away for the weekend, so I figured I could come and see you perform.” He chuckled. “I love watching you perform from the audience.”

“Uh, sure, if that’s what you want to do,” I said, hating the fact that I was starting to get excited about seeing him. The truth was, as much as I loved Orlando and wanted to be with him, part of me still responded to Adam. “When will you be here?”

“I’ll catch the red eye tonight, after the show,” he said. “I’ll get a hotel in Toronto and drive to Kitchener tomorrow morning.” He paused. “Then we can fly back together on Sunday night.”

I didn’t have the heart to tell him over the phone that I only wanted to be his friend. I figured I could tell him, face to face, when he got there, and all would be well again by the time we had to perform on Monday night. I tried to shove away the fact that he sounded so happy to be coming to see me, kind of the way Orlando got when he knew we’d be seeing each other soon.

“Yeah, that’s fine,” I said, forcing a smile, even though he couldn’t see me. “Call me when you’re in Toronto, and I’ll give you directions to get here.”

“Okay,” he said, and I could practically hear his grin through the phone. “I’ll talk to you later.” We hung up.

I sat there for a minute, my heart pounding, my head starting to hurt, and thought about what I was going to do when I saw him. I firmly resolved not to sleep with him, or let him tell me he loved me, which I knew he was dying to do. But a little voice in my head told me that if he wanted me, I wouldn’t be able to stop him. I sighed and stood up, pacing back and forth as I worried about what I would do.

“You’re going to wear a hole in the carpet,” Cooper said, coming out of the auditorium. “And I don’t think my rental contract covers that.”

“Are you finished bossing everyone around?” I said, folding my arms over my chest. “Or did the rest of your singers mutiny on you?”

“Nothing like that,” he said, his forehead wrinkling with worry. “I just want to move on to the next song, and we need you to do it.”

“Are you going to stop being a jackass?”

He sighed. “Charlie, I’m under a lot of pressure here, I need you to stop being a prima donna and get back on that stage.”

“I’m not being a prima donna, Cooper,” I said, fighting to not let my anger get the best of me. “I understand you’re under a lot of stress, but getting testy with me about a song that I’ve done a million times is not going to make this easier on anyone. You need to relax and trust that I know how to do my job.”

“Can we please just get on with it?” He wasn’t even looking at me, he was looking at his clipboard, scribbling furiously.

“You step over the line again and I’m walking,” I said, striding past him into the auditorium. “Enough is enough.”

I went back up on the stage, where the other performers were huddled, waiting to start again. I took my place and the music began. Cooper had chosen some songs from the musical Mamma Mia!, based on old Abba music, and the title song was one he’d asked me to perform. I had to smirk when I read the lead sheets, as the song fit so well into my own situation.

I was cheated by you, and I think you know when,” I started, as Cooper’s dancers began to move behind me. “So I made up my mind, it must come to an end. Look at me now, will I ever learn? I don’t know how, but I suddenly lose control, there’s a fire within my soul.” The back-up dancers began to sing along with me as I moved across the stage. “Just one look and I can hear a bell ring. One more look and I forget everything. Whoa whoa.” The lights blazed as we reached the chorus, beautiful pinks and greens creating dancing patterns on the stage around us. “Mamma mia, here I go again. My, my, how can I resist you? Mamma Mia, does it show again? My, my, just how much I missed you?

I moved to the very front of the stage, facing the audience as the music pounded around me and the dancers worked their magic behind me. “Yes, I’ve been broken-hearted, blue since the day we parted. Why, why, did I ever let you go? Mamma mia, now I really know, my, my, I should not have let you go.”

I could see Cooper sitting in the front row, smiling up at me. It felt good to get into something more upbeat, considering how serious Wicked tended to be. I felt my heart soar as I sang, and though I wasn’t crying or aching, I still felt every word that came out of my mouth.

I was angry and sad when I knew we were through. I can’t count all the times I have cried over you,” I sang, beginning to move with the dancers in the little bit of the routine I’d had time to pick up. “Look at me now, will I ever learn? I don’t know how. But I suddenly lose control, there’s a fire within my soul.” The song went on, and I gave it my all, until I was breathing hard and sweating when the music ended.

Cooper came up as I caught my breath and the dancers took a breather behind me. “Now, was that so hard?” he said, a grin on his face. “You’ve picked up the choreography really well, and it fits perfectly with the song. I don’t think we need to do that one again.” He wrote something on his clipboard. “Moving on,” he called to the room in general.

We spent the next few hours going over the songs repeatedly, and finally we were ready to take a break. Cooper had pizzas brought in for everyone, and we sat around in the seats and on the stage, eating. I checked my watch and saw that it was after eleven, and we still had lots of work to do. I sighed as I took another bite of my green pepper and mushroom pizza slice.

“Cooper, how late are we going to be here?” I called to him as he adjusted some of the costumes for the dancers. “We do need to sleep before you put us through the ringer again tomorrow, you know.”

“Cool your jets, Charlie,” he called back, coming over to me. “We’ve only got another hour or so to do, then you can go home and get your beauty sleep.”

I stood up, wiping my hands on my jeans. “I’m going to put on my next costume so we can get on with this.”

Unfortunately, Cooper’s timing estimate was off, by about three hours. We didn’t get finished until after two o’clock in the morning, and I was exhausted as I packed up my things to go home. I was just shoving my sweater in my bag when the dressing room door opened.

Thinking it was Cooper, I didn’t turn around. “Did you forget something?” I said over my shoulder, zipping up my bag.

“I forgot to kiss you good-bye.”

I spun around to see Adam standing in the doorway. I couldn’t help it, I launched myself at him, throwing my arms around his neck. He hugged me tightly against him and lightly kissed my neck. As tired as I was, it all fell away as I felt his arms around me. I’d missed him more than I’d realized.

“I thought you were driving in tomorrow?” I said, pulling back to look up into his face. “It’s really late.” I grinned. “Not that I’m complaining.”

“I didn’t want to wait,” he said, cupping my face in his hands. He looked so beautiful, in jeans and a dark blue sweater, with a black dress shirt peeking out over the top. He leaned down and kissed me, a full, passionate kiss that left my knees weak and trembling.

“Can we go somewhere?” I mumbled against his mouth. Orlando or no Orlando, I wanted to be with Adam right then and there, and I didn’t care about anything else. I couldn’t take him back to my Aunt’s house, though.

“I have a hotel room nearby,” he said, his hands stroking over my back. “And the car I rented is just outside.”

“Good,” I said. I grabbed my bag and my purse, shrugged into my jacket, and let him lead me out of the building, to the car.

Within ten minutes we were in his hotel room, and he was on top of me on the bed, opening the buttons on my blouse. I didn’t care about anything else right then, just what I was feeling, and the fact that he was there. We let our bodies take over, and I was able to forget everything else, everything but Adam.

The following morning, I woke up with a huge knot in the pit of my stomach. I looked over at Adam, sleeping peacefully beside me, and couldn’t help but think I’d made a mistake. I cared about him, yes, and maybe I even loved him, but not the way I loved Orlando. Being with him for the night made it all too obvious that he wasn’t the one I wanted to be with. The worst part was, now I’d have to break his heart, which I hadn’t wanted to do.

I sat up, pulling the sheet around me, and went into the bathroom. I was due at the theatre for one o’clock, and it was already past eleven. I pulled on the clothes I’d worn the night before, and was just gathering up my bag and my purse when Adam woke up.

“Where are you going?” he said from the bed, sitting up to stretch. “We still have some time before you have to go.”

“I know,” I said, sitting on the edge of the bed beside him. “I have to get home to shower and change. Besides, my dad won’t be pleased to hear that I didn’t go home last night.” I leaned over and kissed him softly, ignoring the raging guilt I felt inside me. “Go back to sleep, okay? I’ll see you tonight.” I stood up.

“Charlie,” he called as I went to open the door. I turned around. “Thank you for last night.”

I smiled. “You’re more than welcome,” I said. “I’ll see you later.” I left.

The show that night was set to start at eight o’clock. We’d run through it twice that afternoon, took a break for dinner, and then went back to get ready to actually go on. I loved the buzz backstage, the excitement, it was very different from the jaded Wicked performers I’d become accustomed to. This felt new, fresh, and completely overwhelming. Cooper’s nervous twitching didn’t help.

“Are you ready to go?” he said, practically bouncing with adrenaline. He was in his first costume, all set for our first number.

“Almost,” I said, touching up my lipstick. Doing my own make-up was definitely not something I was used to, but I found it fun. “We’ve got a good ten minutes, relax.”

“Don’t forget you really have to maintain those notes at the end of ‘Defying Gravity,” he said, pulling my hair back off my shoulders so it hung down my back. “They have to be just right.”

“Cooper,” I said, shooing his hands away from my hair and I put it back where it had been. “You don’t need to tell me how to do my job, okay? I hit those notes every night, I don’t see why tonight would be any different. Now would you please go twitch somewhere else? You’re getting on my nerves.”

He huffed off to harass someone else while I finished getting ready. I was just getting ready to go into the wings when my cell phone rang. I answered it.

“Hello?”

“Charlie?” a female voice said, one I didn’t recognize.

“Yes?”

“It’s Caroline Grey, Ramsey’s prosecuting attorney.”

“Oh, hello,” I said, chuckling. “I didn’t recognize your voice.”

She chuckled as well. “I’m just calling to tell you we got a verdict this afternoon.”

I felt my stomach clench and I held my breath. “What happened?”

“Joanne took the stand yesterday and today,” she said. “The jury was very sympathetic with her, as they were with you, especially since Ramsey kept that damned sneer on his face the whole time. When they deliberated today, they were gone less than an hour.”

“Is that good or bad?”

“Very good,” she said, and I relaxed. “They found him guilty on all charges, and the judge gave him a fifteen-year sentence, without parole.”

I felt so relieved I could have cried. “Thank you so much for calling, Ms. Grey,” I said, grinning at myself in the mirror as I stood up from my dressing table.

“Thank you for helping us nail that bastard,” she said. “Take care, Charlie.”

“You, too.” We hung up. I felt so light and bubbly, I couldn’t wait to get on the stage and let it all out.

When we hit the stage a few minutes later, everyone’s energy was up, and we gave it everything we had. The two and a half hours flew by, and it was over all too soon. We all ran off the stage to a standing ovation.

Cooper was on top of the world while we all took off our make-up and changed into our street clothes. He buzzed around the room, hugging and kissing everyone, and laughing so loudly I’m sure they heard him in the lobby. I just shook my head as I put my regular make-up on.

“Okay, we’re all going out for drinks,” Cooper called, coming over and leaning down to kiss my cheek. “You are my star, you know that?” he said into my ear. “I couldn’t have asked for better.”

I laughed. “That’s not what you said this afternoon,” I teased, getting up and hugging him. “You owe me, buddy,” I said. “Big time.” I winked to let him know I wasn’t serious.

“I’ll buy all your drinks tonight,” he said, grinning.

“That’s hardly worth it,” I said. “I’m a total lightweight.”

“Oh, I know,” he said, bumping my arm lightly. “I just have to talk to my investors and then we’ll all go. Care to do some schmoozing for me?”

“Why not?” I said, laughing as he pouted his bottom lip at me. “You’ve exploited me this far, what’s another little bit of schmoozing? Just give me a minute to finish up here.”

“Take your time, babe,” he said, waving at me over his shoulder as he headed out of the backstage area. “I’ll see you out there.” He shut the door behind him.

I turned my attention back to the mirror, trying to get my eye make-up right. Over the next few minutes, the few stray people who’d been milling around flowed out the door, until I was completely alone. I was just applying my mascara when the door opened again.

“Charlie.”

I almost poked myself in the eye when I saw Orlando standing in the doorway. He smiled gently at me, and I felt my heart leap and speed up. I stood up slowly, not sure what else to do. There was so much I wanted to say, and yet words seemed inadequate.

“Orlando,” I breathed, waiting for him to come to me, to take me in his arms and kiss me, to make all of the pain from the last month and a half go away, but he didn’t. He stayed where he was.

“You were wonderful tonight,” he said softly, his eyes shining. He looked good, in a simple grey suit and a white button-down shirt, with the first few buttons open. His hair was loose around his face, tucked behind his ears, and he was clean-shaven. I wanted to touch the skin along his jaw line, to kiss it, to nibble it, but I didn’t move.

“Thank you,” I said, giving him a small smile. “What are you doing here?”

“We wrapped Pirates yesterday, a little later than expected, so I thought I’d come and see Cooper’s show,” he said, shrugging slightly. “I would have rung you first, but I didn’t want to risk you telling me not to come.”

“I wouldn’t have,” I said, trying to keep my voice from shaking with the overwhelming emotions that were ripping through me at the sight of him. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“You are?” He looked so hopeful, so shocked, I had to chuckle.

“I am,” I said. “I was going to call you when I got back to New York.”

He took a tentative step toward me. “You were?”

“Yes,” I said, still unable to move toward him. “I’ve been thinking about some things.” I couldn’t tear my eyes away from his beautiful bottom lip.

“I have, too, love,” he said, taking another step.

“About what?”

He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “I’d planned to come here and sweep you off your feet, so that you would want to be with me again. I need you, Charlie, I love you too much to let you go like I did. I was a prat, and I hope you can forgive me for it.”

I smiled through my tears. “I do,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper. “We need to stop doing this to each other, to stop fighting and getting angry, and to remember that we’re in love.”

He came toward me so fast that when he took me in his arms I swayed with the momentum. His lips found mine, and he kissed me, a kiss that told me how much he’d missed me, how much he loved me, how much he needed me. I reveled in the taste of him, one I’d been missing, and the feel of him beneath my hands as I clutched his shoulders. Our tears mingled as the kiss grew deeper, more passionate, and I sank into him, into his arms, into his heart, and let him hold me the way he used to.

I was quite ready to let him take me right there on the floor when we heard, “Charlie?”

I reluctantly pulled away from Orlando, to see Adam standing in the doorway. His face was unreadable.

“Oh, God,” I said, guilt washing over me. “Adam.”

“What’s going on?” he said, hurt clear in his eyes now.

“Who’s that?” Orlando said, putting his arm around my waist. I moved away from him.

“Orlando, this is Adam,” I said, my eyes never leaving Adam’s face. This was going to be a lot harder than I’d ever thought it would be. In my own way, I loved him, he’d been a great friend to me, and I didn’t want to hurt him.

“Is there something you wanted to tell me, Charlie?” Adam said, ignoring Orlando. He didn’t sound angry or upset, just calm, too calm.

“I should have told you this morning, but I didn’t know how to say it,” I said, wringing my hands in front of me.

“This morning?” Orlando said, suspicion in his voice. “You were with him this morning?”

“And last night,” Adam said quietly. It didn’t sound like he was trying to be nasty, just like he wanted the truth out in the open.

“Charlie, is that true?” When I looked at him, I could see the hurt in his eyes. I took a deep breath.

“Yes,” I said. “It just sort of happened.” I went to Adam, figuring I should deal with him first, then I could handle Orlando. “I’m sorry,” I said, putting my hand on his arm. “Please, don’t be angry with me.”

“A little head’s up would have been nice,” he said, though he didn’t sound angry. He leaned down to whisper, “Last night you couldn’t have picked him out of a line-up.”

I inhaled sharply at the jolt his words sent through me, as images from the night before flashed through my mind. “I know,” I whispered back. “But that wasn’t about love, Adam, that was about lust, and getting lost in the moment.”

“You can’t tell me you don’t love me,” he said, tilting my head up so I was looking at him. “Nothing that wonderful can ever be just about sex.”

His eyes searched mine, and I knew he saw what I didn’t want him to. I looked down, at a button on his shirt. “That’s exactly what it has to be,” I said, my voice catching. “I need him, Adam, you’ve known that from the beginning.”

“I guess part of me had hoped you needed me, too,” he said, giving me a sad smile. “I love you, Charlie, and I know we said we wouldn’t love each other, but it’s happened. And I know you feel the same way I do.”

“I never wanted this,” I said, tears welling in my eyes. I heard Orlando shift behind us, knowing he was watching us, probably getting angrier by the second. “Adam, I wanted to be your friend, that’s all.” I sniffed as the tears began to fall. “That’s all I want now, too.”

“You want to go back with him?” he said, gesturing at Orlando. “You know how devastated you were when he broke up with you. What’s to say he won’t do it again?”

“I can only trust that he won’t,” I said, my vision blurred as the tears kept coming. So much for my make-up. “But I need to try, Adam. I love him, and I want to be with him. I’m sorry.”

He stepped back, a hurt look on his face. His voice was hoarse when he spoke again. “Okay, Charlie, if that’s what you want,” he said. He looked over my head, and though he was still talking to me, he was looking at Orlando. “I love you enough to let you do what you need to do, with or without me.”

Before he could say more, Cooper burst through the door. “Charlie, I need your help,” he said, his eyes bright with excitement.

This entry was posted on Thursday, December 20th, 2007 at 11:21 am and is filed under Who Knew?. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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